been lonely too long...

August 31st/Sept 1st 2007

I saw my very first boyfriend tonight. I went to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery with a few friends to see "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" I heard his distinctly gay South African accent two rows away from me in the line to get into the cemetery. I turned around to find that it was, in fact, the red-haired, skinny, flamboyant, leprechaun-esque young man I had known for 2 1/2 weeks about 6 years ago. I had only since seen him on the internet after our dramatic break up in the parking lot of a coffee shop in Redondo Beach. The pictures of him on the net were sweaty dance club shots that made him look bald and chubby.

But I can't say anything terrible about the way he looked in person. Bubbly. Bright orange. Happy. Seeing him made me feel terribly lonely...like I hadn't grown up at all.
I was never heartbroken when our affair ended, but for some reason his presence made me feel like the boring, mainstream little boy he once told me I was.

I may just be bitter because I didn't get to make out with someone tonight. The setting was a ridiculous kind of romantic and it was all wasted. I felt tired after three glasses of wine.

Side note: I wish I was more productive with my time....like this guy...