Aaron Johnson...star of KICK ASS

God?...Strike me dead immediately, and let me come back as a pregnant 42-year old cougar.

February Morning Dream

I’m staring at my foot in confusion. There is a light brown plantlike growth emerging from a bright red sore on the bottom of it. Every time I touch it in order to remove it from the sore, I become incredibly dizzy and almost lose consciousness…

Suddenly I’m in a red leather booth at an old fashioned diner, working on my laptop. My boss, who's sitting next to me, puts her arm around me and begins kissing my neck. I look away from her in order to think, “Should I let this happen?”. I begin kissing her arm and working my back to her neck. Now she’s straddling me. I’m thinking to myself.

How could I let this happen?
What made her think I would enjoy her advances?
And most importantly, how would it affect my job status when I break her heart by falling in love with a man?

***********************************************


I used to think I was bisexual. I also used to perform amateur operations on my ingrown toenails, using paper scissors and razorblades. During one routine surgery I dug too deep into the cuticle of my big toe and came very close to passing out.

monday monday

There's nothing more irritating than having a perfectly good dream interrupted. Especially when you're woken up by a certain Anaheim songbird demanding that you "wind it up."

i hate you.