February Morning Dream

I’m staring at my foot in confusion. There is a light brown plantlike growth emerging from a bright red sore on the bottom of it. Every time I touch it in order to remove it from the sore, I become incredibly dizzy and almost lose consciousness…

Suddenly I’m in a red leather booth at an old fashioned diner, working on my laptop. My boss, who's sitting next to me, puts her arm around me and begins kissing my neck. I look away from her in order to think, “Should I let this happen?”. I begin kissing her arm and working my back to her neck. Now she’s straddling me. I’m thinking to myself.

How could I let this happen?
What made her think I would enjoy her advances?
And most importantly, how would it affect my job status when I break her heart by falling in love with a man?

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I used to think I was bisexual. I also used to perform amateur operations on my ingrown toenails, using paper scissors and razorblades. During one routine surgery I dug too deep into the cuticle of my big toe and came very close to passing out.

I'll make this quick.

For some reason, every time I sit in front of my computer for even a short period of time I get very dizzy and my pinky finger begins to tingle and fall asleep.

I fairly sure I have bad circulation, and today I realized this could be due to the fact that I smoke a pack of cigarettes a day. So around 5 o clock, I quit smoking.

At precisely 9:51 I drove to Rite Aid to buy some binders for my final school projects, and I ended up buying a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of Toasted Head Cabernet Sauvignon.

Every time I quit smoking I get crazy ideas. Often I pretend I'm on one of those Vh1 Celebreality TV shows, only it's only an hour long special about me trying to quit smoking. I picture the camera crew around me, and the disappointed looks i would get from them if after just 4 hours of not smoking, I light up.

It never works.

So I bought my last pack of cigarettes. And it truly is my last pack. I've decided if I want to smoke for the rest of my life then I'm allowed to. But I'm only allowed to smoke cigarettes that were originally packaged in the box that is sitting in my lap at this very moment. If i want to smoke, then I'll have to make the 19 remaining cigarettes in the pack last for the next 70 some odd years.

I think I'll waste one now.